The Worst Relationship Mindsets To Have
Wonder why there are so many therapy sessions dedicated to just mending relationships? – Because they are hard. It is human nature to be love and be in a relationship though the meaning and definitions have changed over the years. They also differ in concept from one person to the other, but the bottom line has remained the same, partnering is in our DNA. Maybe that’s why the Amazonians didn’t last nor do the loners make the majority of our population. So why do we face so many problems when we are in a relationship?
Well, being ornery and contrary is in our DNA too! We are attracted to someone, we fall in love and we commit to another person, all of which are wonderful feelings. But we also go into these with certain faults of our own that can start undermining the partnership even before it has begun. You don’t agree? Well, no matter how much of a saint you think yourself to be you do have flaws my friend. We all do. Before you start blaming others, take a look at the some of the worst relationship mindsets that can exist. Chances are you will find yourself guilty of one or more easily.
Yes, we all have that flaw. Every little gesture and every fight can blow up in our face big time because we presume too much. If your partner refuses one invitation to your family dinner you feel he hates the whole bunch of them. Maybe he just wants to spend time with you that weekend. You simply misinterpret his/her gestures without thought or logic.
Most of us have to tendency to fret and over analyze every situation. The day after a fight if your partner is quiet you feel he is still simmering in rage. Chances are he or she is simply busy with work and maybe waiting for you to cool down.
Now as I mentioned, a relationship is a partnership and not a competition. So instead of treating him as a rival who you have to best, try and complement him. You don’t have to cook better than him just to prove a point. You can stick to your day at the spa whenever the urge hits him.
There is no place for negativity if you want to be happy. This is important not just for your relationship but also in every other aspect of your life. Don’t expect things to go wrong and don’t give into anger, sadness and other negative emotions every time they do. Yes, there will be disappointment and some hurting but wallowing in self-pity is hardly going to help.
Respect others if you want them to respect you. This is an adage that we have learnt a children and it is very true for relationships as well. If you don’t appreciate your partner for who he or she is that means you don’t respect them. You cannot change a person because you don’t think they measure up for everyone is different, not better.
Now adjusting and trying to be understanding in a relationship is all very important. That doesn’t mean you give in every time and become that perfect doormat that everyone loves to trod over. You will lose not just your partner’s respect but your own as well. Be your own person because that is the only you can be happy, and make others around you happy as well.
There are no rules
Now when you love someone, just give in to your feelings. Don’t waste your time looking for the rules that make a relationship work because they may not always work for you. We are all unique in our own rights which means you need to listen to your own instincts and do what feels right. That’s the best way to love.
Written by Bambi Majumdar.