How To Deal with Divorce
Ending a relationship isn’t easy for either person and the longer that two people have been together, the more difficult it can be to overcome. Dealing with divorce doesn’t necessarily mean that the breakup will be tougher, but there are certain legal implications that can affect you and your soon to be (or current) ex.
How you deal with the divorce can tell a lot about you and your character. It’s also important to understand that children can affect how parents should act toward one another. If you have kids, whatever you do, don’t bad mouth the other parent (no matter what he might have done to you in the past).
Here are some ideas that can help you cope with this major life change a bit better.
Allow yourself time off.
You’re likely going to deal with a lot of emotions during the next several weeks and months. It may even linger for years, depending on how long you had been married.
It’s good to cry and face your emotions head on, but even they need a break once in a while. It’s okay to take a break. It’s also fine to function at a lower level if you need to. When kids are involved, call on family or friends to help out once in a while. Get out and go to a movie by yourself if you want.
Learn to laugh.
During the midst of any life tragedy, laughter can seem like the last thing you ever want to do. But it’s okay.
Take some time to watch a comedy movie, go out to a comedy club, or just get together with some friends who are great at helping you laugh. If it takes rude, crass jokes, then so be it. Let loose and avoid fighting back the laughter when you feel it coming. Just let it come.
Allow yourself the feel.
You’re going to run through a gamut of emotions, from anger to sorrow, frustration to loneliness, and so on. Don’t suppress them. Even if your ex cheated on you in your own bed and you are furious with him, it’s okay to miss him, too.
When you begin trying to suppress those emotions, you increase the risk of not properly dealing with them. If you notice you’re telling everyone you’re ‘fine’ when you’re not, you could be suppressing those all important emotions.
When you have a marriage that’s come to an end, it’s a major loss in your life. At the beginning things were wonderful. You honestly felt like you had met the person with whom you wanted to spend the rest of your life.
Then things began to change. It could have been gradual and you still might not really know what went wrong, and you don’t have to. Yet.
But you need to grieve. Just like when you lose a loved one, there’s a grieving process that has to occur in order for you to begin healing once again. Think about this as the healing of a wound. It takes time and certain stages for any wound to close and heal, so give yourself the time to grieve.
Once you do you’ll be able to begin the healing process.
Written by G. T. Hedlund