6 Things To Remember If You Want To Keep Your Marriage Hot
When you comes across a couple who have been together for 50 years you feel amazed. You think of your grandparents and wonder how they did it. Marriage is the most wonderful experience and yet can be so hard to maintain at times. The initial days are rose tinted for most of us but as we grow older and the practicalities take over, romance tends to take a backseat. Very soon we are burdened with responsibilities and are sniping at each other all the time because it is all so overwhelming. Now fights and arguments are what make a marriage normal otherwise you will be residing in a dead zone!
Now if you let things continue like this, then you only have yourselves to blame for the problems you are facing. There are days when you will feel like chucking it all away and walk out but then there will also be days when you want to make it work. If you are feeling the latter more then there is still love in there. All you have to do is work a little harder and give your marriage that extra push so that it starts blossoming once again. And it’s not even as hard as it sounds. Here are a few easy tips.
#1 – Think positive thoughts.
This is a mantra that will come handy in all aspects of your life and more so in your relationship. Instead of focusing on the negative situation and the fights, think about all the good times you have had. There are problems but don’t let them overshadow you. Instead think of ways you can work on them and around them to carry on comfortably. Work with your spouse for solutions and plan on fun things to do together that will keep negative emotions at bay.
#2 – Make time for sex.
If all you are doing is falling asleep at the end of a long day, then you are just giving your body some comfort, not your marriage. Sometimes you have to think beyond yourself and more about your partner. Having sex only when you feel like it is a selfish thing to do and to expect your partner to fall in line every time is just mean. He or she may not voice their dissatisfaction but it will eat away into their minds and start eroding the foundation of your marriage.
#3 – Touch to show your love.
If the only time you touch your spouse is at night and in bed, you need help. Touch is the ultimate way to show your love without words and it is not all about sex. If you feel awkward touching your spouse, it’s just sad. Of course that doesn’t mean you put yourself on display in public all the time. That can be so annoying for others. But make yourself go a little and you will see how an occasional pat or a sudden hug can make a world of difference to your partner.
#4 – Make it a great partnership.
If marriage is a contract then the people in it are partners. Partner is the keyword here and you must give that a bit more thought. We have many people who love us – parents, siblings, cousins, friends, but the most important person you have to consider is your spouse. Only he or she can really be the partner, think Frank and Claire Underwood (House of Cards). Next time you have a fight or run into problems, discuss it with your partner instead of letting outsiders influence your thoughts.
#5 – Dating can be fun.
Who says that you have to stop dating when you are married? Of course, you can’t date other people if you want your marriage to work! But make sure that you put in a lot of date nights in your calendar, a special time when you dress up and go out for dinner and maybe some dancing. It’s a change from the mundane routine and spices up your life instantly. Don’t let your age or years of marriage slow you down either. You should do this more often when you have running ragged between kids and daycare, tons of laundry and a nine-to-five job.
#6 – Look at your faults too.
Perhaps the most important thing is a marriage is to look beyond yourself. Through all the ups and downs that you have, make sure that you look at two sides of the coin instead of being stubborn and adamant. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you become a doormat and give in every time. But it does mean weighing the pros and cons, have an open discussion and then make a decision. Believe me, nothing is sexier than making up smartly.
Written by Bambi Majumdar.