6 Rules of Fair Compromise in a Relationship
Marriage is not easy. No matter what big dreams you may had when you were young or how practical you thought yourself to be, there are bound to be disappointments and heartaches. At times these are too harsh to adjust to but those are extreme circumstances. The course of everyday life you will realize that communication and compromise make the bulwark of a strong relationship. That being said there are some rules attached to these aspects, the compromise cannot be from one party while the other takes advantage forever. You cannot expect things to be right or go as they are without some positive changes.
If you think you cannot bend at all, then don’t expect your marriage to work. At the same time, if you bend all the time then you will lose not just self-respect but your partner’s regard down the line as well. There is a middle ground and here are some rules of fair compromise in a relationship.
Rule #1 – Set reasonable expectations
First of, don’t set to out to be perfect and do not expect the same of your partner. Marriage is a partnership, so don’t put your partner up on a pedestal. If you want to worship, go to church. We are all humans and we will err. Understand this and expect things to go wrong at times. When they do you can be pragmatic instead of having a nervous breakdown.
Rule #2 – See both sides of the coin
In a fight or a bad situation, it is very easy to blame the other person. It is also very hard to admit that you can be wrong. It could be either of you at fault or both, but you will never know or find a solution to the problem if you persist in being blind. There are two sides to every coin and you have to look at both to gauge the truth.
Rule #3 – Let the other speak up
Keep the channels of communication open at all times. Shouting like virago or clamming up isn’t going to help either of you. These would mean that you are refusing to find a solution and continuing the blame game. Talk to each other, after all you have love in common, don’t you?
Rule #4 – Don’t make decisions when you are angry
All of us say and do things in the heat of the moment which we invariably regret later. That is why it is very important not to react to a situation. When you sleep on a problem, it is quite possible that you will wake up with a plausible solution.
Rule #5 – Appreciate your partner
It is perhaps love that attracts us and makes us commit to each other. But a relationship needs trust and respect to survive as well. when you break that trust or do not respect the other person you cannot hope to find reconciliation. Appreciate and accept your partner for the human being that he/she is instead of setting up wild expectations.
Rule #6 – Change the rules of the game
Times have changed and what worked for our parents are not going to work for us. We have same sex marriages, long distance relationships, open marriages and more live in relationships than they could even think of. What could have caused a scandal decades ago is the norm now. So why stick to age old rules for marriage when you can be flexible and much happier? Expecting the man to be sole breadwinner or the woman to do all the household work is passé. You live in the 21st century so act like it.
Written by Bambi Majumdar.