5 Habits Most People Think Are Toxic For The Relationship
Relationships are hard work. Anyone who thinks it’s easy to be in one either hasn’t put much effort into it (which places all the pressure on their partner who will one day resent it) or is heading for a breakup. If you’re not willing to focus on making the effort to ensure this one works out, don’t go looking outside of yourself for the answers about why it didn’t.
In any relationship there are some things couples have a tendency to do that are actually toxic. Something toxic is something that’s going to cause harm to the relationship over time. It might not cause things to end right away, but unless you address those issues, it’s only a matter of time before it does.
Here are 5 habits that couples tend to fall into that are toxic (and most people agree with this, even though they still tend to get involved in them).
Do you have a tendency to keep track of the last several (or 2 dozen) times your partner screwed up in the relationship? Well, is he doing that, too?
When someone begins keeping track of the negative aspects of the relationship, that’s a bad sign. Keeping score is all about holding onto those past events for a future fight. “Hey, you called me a bitch,” she might say, even though that was a year ago during a bitter argument.
Don’t keep score. If you can forgive you need to also let it go and not bring it up again. Otherwise you’re not actually offering true forgiveness but rather ‘going along to get along.’
Holding the relationship hostage.
Have you ever had this happen to you: You’re with someone and they begin complaining about an issue with which they’re not happy. It could be your tendency to not put the toilet seat down or picking up your dirty laundry. Then they say, “I’m not going to date a pig.”
If they constantly use that ‘I’m not going to date’ attitude, they’re holding the relationship hostage. I mean, if it’s that frail, you don’t have a relationship. It’s not an even two-way street.
Constantly blaming your partner for your issues.
Everyone has issues. Emotions can get the best of us and if you’re constantly blaming your partner for how things are not working out in your life, then what’s the point in being together?
Answer: there is no point.
This is so common, almost everyone does it, even when they don’t realize it. If you keep making offhanded comments about your partner because of something he did that you don’t like, but you then say, ‘I’m just joking with you’ or ‘I’m teasing you,’ you’re not.
Repeated snide comments you make about things that irritate you about your partner is passive aggressiveness. This is a potential death knell to a relationship.
If you can’t trust your partner, you don’t have much at all when it comes to a relationship. If you are constantly annoyed that your mate has friends, calls them, texts them, and gets calls and texts from them and you repeatedly have to know exactly who it was and why they were calling, then you’ve got a problem.
Eventually your partner’s going to reach his breaking point and decide, ‘Hey, if I’m going to be accused of cheating, then why not?’
If you can identify the potential toxic habits in your own relationship, you might be on your way to crafting a healthier one. Believe it or not, you might just be happier in the end.
Written by G. T. Hedlund