10 Reasons You Are Still Alone
You’re alone. Single. Still. It’s not like this is something you really want, but no matter what you do you can’t seem to find someone with whom to settle down for any length of time. Your relationships probably last all of about a month or two, if that, then you’re back to single life once again.
Now you’re going through a stretch where you haven’t been with anyone for a while and it’s getting to be frustrating. So why is this?
Well, you could be turning people off without even realizing it. You could also be making some poor choices about your own care that can affect your single life. Here are 10 reasons you just might still be alone.
Reason #1: You believe ‘love’ is the ultimate goal.
When you have unreasonable expectations about certain things, like love and relationships, then you’re going to fall short of them time after time. If you’re of the mindset that just ‘being in love’ is going to solve all your problems, you’re going to wind up alone.
Reason #2: You can’t get over your ex.
If you’re still hung up on your ex, it won’t be long before your next future ex is going to grow weary of it and decide to leave you, too. If you can’t get over your ex, you need to find some help.
Reason #3: You’re not actually in a relationship.
Even though you have a significant other and you’re ‘attached,’ that doesn’t mean you’re not alone. You could be with someone but if you’re not getting anything out of it, then you’re basically going through the motions.
And you’re alone. Emotionally.
Reason #4: You play hard to get.
Sure, it’s fun for a while, but if becomes a part of your normal routine, it can become a habit. When you have a habit of playing hard to get then you’re actually pushing people away from you. That’s not going to improve your single status.
Reason #5: You keep waiting for ‘The One’.
No, I’m not talking about Neo from the Matrix. I’m talking about the perfect match. Maybe you’ve built this ‘perfect’ guy (or girl) in your mind over the years. If you’re expecting someone’s going to meet all of that criteria, guess what? You’ll be waiting a long, long, long time.
Focus on compatibility. The rest will become perfect when you find the ‘right’ partner (not the perfect man (or woman)).
Reason #6: You fit into a certain stereotype.
Stereotypes exist for a reason. They possess certain characteristics. You might fit into one of them and that would be the ‘avoidant’ personality. You avoid commitment, even though you don’t like being alone.
Reason #7: You think online-only romance is fulfilling.
You may be shy, but even so you need to get out there and physically interact. If you don’t, you will eventually come to learn that online only romances still leave you feeling alone at the end of the day.
Reason #8: You let people walk all over you.
If you’re not the most secure person, it’s easy to let your partner run all over you verbally and emotionally. That kind of doormat is not attractive and even though you do everything you think is going to please your mate, you’re actually driving her away.
Reason #9: You cling to drama.
If you love drama, gossiping, and basically causing trouble wherever you can, even among your friends, good luck not being alone. There’s a name for people like that.
Loney (notice I left a letter out … but which one?).
Reason #10: You’re afraid of becoming dependent.
One reason a lot of people avoid commitments and relationships is because they worry about becoming dependent on the other person. You could end up finding reasons to end those relationships before they get you hooked. And dependent.
Written by G. T. Hedlund